I'm drive I can fine osifer
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
