I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
