Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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