He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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