Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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