SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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