I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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