he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
