I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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