I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
