We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
