dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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