YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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