Do you still have your period?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
