the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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