It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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