would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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