she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
