I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
