I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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