Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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