how can u be prego again
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
