So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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