Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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