my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
