He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
