I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
