i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
