Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
