Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
