Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
