so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
