I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So apparently I’m into choking now
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
