omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
