The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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