so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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