You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
