idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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