I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
