all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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