I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
