maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
