I wish they made helmets for livers.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
