i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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