he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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