If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
