Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
