I hate your face
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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