The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
