It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
