I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
