You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
