at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
