you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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