I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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