my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
