Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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