So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
