i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
