New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
