can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
