no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
