your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
