Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
