Where is the hickey?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
