Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
