So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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