bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
