God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
