Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
