I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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