I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize