You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Randomize
