do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
