Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
